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Monday, June 20, 2011

Baby Juno

Today was the due date for my miscarried baby. June 20th. Today is the day I once again "could've" had a living child if the pregnancy went perfectly. My husband had a feeling the baby could've been a boy but of course, we will never know until we see "him" one day. I wanted a unisex name and thought of "June" from the due date then "Juno" as a nickname.
To medical professionals he was merely a blighted ovum. An embryo that didn't quite make it. A chromosomal mishap. I even tried to make light of this past miscarriage from November but I can't get past the fact how much we wanted the baby. The baby stopped growing and we didn't get to see the baby. I only remember the empty sac from the sonogram. How could a baby just not be there? I know some ladies keep every pregnancy tests but I never bothered to even though getting a BFP is truly rare and precious to me. The picture of Juno's positive BFP is all I have left of him. He really did exist. Does anyone care? I may not cry as much as I do for Joey but Baby Juno was loved and dearly wanted by us. I hope that's all what counts for a miscarried baby to be as valid as any other baby.

In a perfect world I would be holding my two children.

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we’ll meet again

Chorus from the song "Still" by Gerrit Hofsink


  1. Hi Patty,
    Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving those lovely words of encouragement. I can tell you that I totally share your pain.. every miscarriage is a loss, whether or not the medical professionals agree. Each miscarriage is a loss of a future with our kids and a missing part of our future. My 3rd miscarriage at 5 weeks in Nov '10 was medically referred to as 'pregnancy of unknown location' cos we couldn't even see the sac, but it still pains me the same.
    Good luck in your baby journey..

  2. I had a blighted ovum as well and miscarried on November 27, 2010 at 10 weeks. And I feel the same way you do. I found losing Jacob much, much harder, but having a blighted ovum was pretty tough as well. We had been so happy to be pregnant again, then found out at 7.5 weeks that something was wrong, waiting a week and a half for another ultrasound to confirm, then waited a week to miscarry. I can still see the ultrasound screen with just a gestational sac and some fluid. We called that baby Cub from the beginning. Cub was due on June 25, 2011.

    Juno is such a cute name.

    I love that song. I think it is my favorite baby loss song.

  3. oh that song brings me to tears. i care about Baby Juno. the medical terminology, the empty sacs, a life is a life and you and your husband created that little life, short as it was all your future hopes and dreams and longing to hold a child in your arms was wrapped up that first positive test. i'm glad you have that photo. i'm remembering your little one with you, my friend.