Still Alive!

I don't know if this is an appropriate way of phrasing my baby's life. But he is STILL alive and making it each day! After passing 24 weeks this past Christmas, I felt way better...although I don't think the fear of death will ever vanish from my mind. I am so relieved to make it to 30 wks and 2 days now, yet I can't seem to erase the worst case scenarios out of my mind. I don't even want to describe my horrific thoughts just to avoid jinxing myself.
I count the kicks even though my son doesn't always have a nice routine. My hubby and I check his heartbeat with a doppler we borrowed from a dear BLM friend. I cannot imagine what this pregnancy would've been like without hearing his heartbeat through those days of anxieties.
I long for the day to bring him home alive and healthy... His name is Ayden - the boy's name we picked out with my daughter's name, Josephine, back in 2009. It might be a little shallow to get his name from a TV show like "Jon and Kate Plus 8."We fell in love with "Aiden" without realizing how popular this name was. We considered "Jayden," "Caiden," or other rhyming names yet we couldn't get ourselves to change our minds. One day our Ayden will learn about his sister in heaven....I can't wait to teach him how to say Joey's name. Miss my girl who didn't make it this far....