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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Joey's 2nd Birthday

My daughter is two years old in heaven today. We kept the grieving and celebration to ourselves unlike last year. Having friends and family over to the resting place last year gave me so much peace - the peace I didn't get to have without a funeral and holding her to say goodbye. I needed Joey to be validated as our baby and a person who passed away. I felt okay to celebrate between just us two as Mommy and Daddy.
It rained today just like the day she was born. No balloons or flowers today because of rain.

I always seem to ask John the same question "So what happened that day? Do you remember?" It was a nightmarish day yet I still want to hear John's side of the story over and over. While I was being induced with pills, J had to go home in the rain that morning. He was crying all by himself in the car and he doesn't remember how he made it home. He told our dog Joey was gone for good...took a shower....packed my clothes. All of this happened while I was in bed waiting to dilate. Two years ago already.

I felt guilty to not be able to bake her cake this time. I guess every year will be different. J and I will have to come up with different ways to celebrate her birthday each year.


  1. I hope today Joey helped to fascilitate a little bit of peace for her mommy and daddy.



  2. Thinking of you and your sweet Joey. I wonder how we will handle Jacob's birthdays in the years to come too. This year we did something with my family. I don't know if it will be the same next year.

    I also like to hear about the day he was born from the perspective of other people. I got my sisters to write it all down. I don't read it often anymore, but when I want to, it is there.

    Sending you hugs.

  3. I'm behind on reading and commenting on blogs, but you and Joey have been on my mind. Whatever you do to honor and remember and celebrate your daughter is right. i'm sure Joey and Juno had a beautiful celebration in heaven. ((hugs)) and love to you and your family.

  4. I just found your blog after reading your comment on my daughter Natalie's blog. I am sending much love to you and your sweet daughter. I love her name! I bookmarked this so I can come back and read more. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and that you are not alone.