Happy First Birthday, Joey!

Joey turned one today in heaven. I didn't feel as heavy burdened today. To me, this whole month of October represents her - it's an infant loss month, we just had a Walk to Remember last Saturday, and then her birthday today. I think it helped to cry whenever I felt like it and to also allow myself to be in a lighter mood when I felt like it. I don't have to please anyone when I grieve by telling myself that I have to act in a certain way. This whole week though, I was definitely distracted by my worst allergy symptoms of bodyache and congestion. I know that in spite of my sickness, my mind would wander off to where I was this time last year. I've never gone back to read my first few entries in this blog especially to read Joey's story. I still have my old pregnancy planner on my shelf even though I can't get myself to look at it. I couldn't sleep last night as I calculated the hours and recollected the time we left for the ER...the time when the ER doctor showed us the lifeless sonogram of Joey which would've been about 12:30A.M.... I didn't cry but I felt this sadness last night. I am tired for now since we had a busy day. We were incredibly BLESSED with so many friends and surprisingly relatives who came to visit our little Joey. John and I were so happy for our daughter. I will have to post some pictures later.

Balloons and letters to Joey, Walk to Remember