Precious Natalie

I know that one PROM mom's blog, LouMary, mentioned this already but I am so heartbroken for Natalie's family. Natalie passed away after months of NICU October 16th, Saturday. I have been reading Natalie's mom blogging her pPROM journey from the time of rupture to hospitalization. She and her baby became dear to me as I read her entries 4 months after Joey passed away. Natalie was delivered at 33wks and stayed on NICU. They had so much hope. I just received the mom's email this morning of the news and all of us from the PROM email list were stunned. She has a donation website on her blog for Natalie's NICU hospital and she also requested a postcard to be sent to her in memory of Natalie - the address is on her blog, Babygirltee. May lots of love be sent their way.

Happy First Birthday, Joey!

Joey turned one today in heaven. I didn't feel as heavy burdened today. To me, this whole month of October represents her - it's an infant loss month, we just had a Walk to Remember last Saturday, and then her birthday today. I think it helped to cry whenever I felt like it and to also allow myself to be in a lighter mood when I felt like it. I don't have to please anyone when I grieve by telling myself that I have to act in a certain way. This whole week though, I was definitely distracted by my worst allergy symptoms of bodyache and congestion. I know that in spite of my sickness, my mind would wander off to where I was this time last year. I've never gone back to read my first few entries in this blog especially to read Joey's story. I still have my old pregnancy planner on my shelf even though I can't get myself to look at it. I couldn't sleep last night as I calculated the hours and recollected the time we left for the ER...the time when the ER doctor showed us the lifeless sonogram of Joey which would've been about 12:30A.M.... I didn't cry but I felt this sadness last night. I am tired for now since we had a busy day. We were incredibly BLESSED with so many friends and surprisingly relatives who came to visit our little Joey. John and I were so happy for our daughter. I will have to post some pictures later.

Balloons and letters to Joey, Walk to Remember